[throwback]thursday...

.:The Sugarhill Gang:.


.:De La Soul:.


.:Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five:.



...feel free to get up and dance.

killer wit the beat, i know killers in the street...

I meant to tell this story earlier, but I forgot.

To give you some background, this is a story about the Yankee. She's a quiet person, especially in groups of people. She's reserved and pretty straight laced.

This weekend, we all got together and watched American Gangster (really interesting movie.) We were discussing it over a game of Apples to Apples. If you've never played that game, you really should. It's entertaining.

Basically, I had to choose between two cards: Denzel Washington and South Africa. I don't even remember what the green card was...it rarely matters with me. I pick the funniest card or card comparison...(like, when the green card said friendly, I laid down Jack the Ripper and proceeded to snicker at the cruel joke.) So, I had Denzel and South Africa. Naturally, I picked the more gangster of the two and went with Denzel, the American Gangster. Well, the Yankee's card was South Africa, so she lost and proceeded to say, "You picked Denzel over South Africa?! Which is more important!?"

I said, "Yes, the AMERICAN GANGSTER? Of course I picked that one." (you all should know, I will always choose gangsta.)

She said, "He wasn't even gangster."

I said, "Um...he covered a man in gas and lit him on fire with the FIRST 10 SECONDS."

She said, "Okay, so is that all you have to do to be gangster?!"

I said, "uh...yeah. Not to mention the other guy he shot in broad daylight at that cafe..."

She said in her sore loser voice, "Oh, right...All you have to do is kill 2 men and you're gangsta?! Geez, then I'm half way there."





I busted out into fits of laughter. This is so not someone who would ever say or do anything like that. She said it with the straightest face ever. I was like, "So, one down one to go?! or...what?!?!?!"

I laughed and laughed and laughed.

Don't be fooled when you meet her for the first time. Just remember, she's already killed once. She's on the hunt for number two.

we dream of ways to break these iron bars...

I had a really rough week last week dealing with things related to my job. In summation: I'm miserable. But who isn't...right? Well, I was super miserable...to the point that I seriously think I'm allergic to the place I work.

I have been looking for other jobs, but last week, I realized that I'm approaching [at double light speed] a time when it would be pointless for me to change jobs. The Husband graduates in May 2009, so, it really would be pointless for me to change jobs just for a year. Not to mention, the fact that it would be hard to get around [in a job interview]the fact that we're going to leave in a year. No one's going to hire someone who's husband is graduating in a year...and the reason they're where they are is because he is in school. SO. Realizing that I am most likely going to be at the job I'm at for another year is something that makes me want to pull my eyeballs out with an olive fork and fill the sockets with glass shards and lemon juice. It's very depressing to me.

At this point, I being my usual introspection..."Why am I so depressed about this situation? What is it about my job that I really don't like." Because...I normally reserve the glass near my eyes metaphor for really bad situations. And yes, my manager is an idiot...but that shouldn't make me feel like I want to claw all my skin off from 7-3:30 every day.

So I began thinking about all these things. What really is at the root of my depression about this job...why am I so unhappy? These are the conclusions that I came up with...and if you're one of the friends who listened to me rant about this situation last week, I really appreciate it. It's good to have people you can just talk things through with.

These are my conclusions:

• I do not want to live with regret. This is a very important thing to me, I've come to realize. It's why I hate making decisions. I CAN make decisions, I'm just afraid I'm going to wish I had chosen another option and regret the decision I made. One way that I evaluate regret in my life is by comparing myself to my peers. If I feel like everything's going alright, comparably, then I feel pretty good about whatever the situation is...relationships, jobs, life, etc. Right now, in my job, I feel like I'm way behind my peers/friends by what I'm doing. I didn't walk off the stage at graduation into a job that I like. (Which I know, most of you are probably rolling your eyes, but a LOT of the friends I had in the program I was in in college walked into really good jobs. BUT, they didn't have stipulations on their physical location. So comparably...you get the picture.) I feel like for the degree program I was in, I'm way behind the average...and I hate that.
  
  
• I value achievement very highly. I can't just be in the club, I have to be the president. I'm very much driven by the achievements of my life and feel that I need to be constantly working toward a new goal/new achievement in order to be "successful" in what I'm doing. I've lived my life very purposefully until now, and I think that's pretty evident if you know me. Now, I just feel like I'm floating around...not working toward anything...not getting experience in a field I want to be in (finance). This may be harsh on myself and I'm not being dramatic, but I basically feel that I'm a failure in the area of life titled "career." There's nothing about my work situation that I am proud of. Looking back, I know now that this is because my father instilled a very strong, "If you're not first, you're last..." mentality into my brain. Right now, this job is making me feel last. That is depressing.
  

In a conversation with A Cooke, I really began to understand what my problem is. She's really good at helping me realize these things. :) I realized and told her that when I look back on my life, I want to be at the top of the pyramid, whether that's career wise or family wise. (Whether I stay in the career world or I quit and be a Mom...) I want to know that I've worked as hard as I could and was successful. (Not just IN the PTA...but president of it.) I would then have no regret. She told me that when she views the end of her life, she just wants to have been a good mom and a good wife. I told her that to me, that is so ambiguous! How do you define success in that desire? She told me that I sound just like my dad. The thing is, she's right. I have this tiny voice in my head constantly reinforcing the fact that if you're not first...you are last. No one remembers number two. And if anyone says something along the lines of, "Well, achievement isn't all that matters..." like, college isn't just about grades, then it's just because they couldn't achieve. So for me to agree that there are things in life that are more important than achievement, I feel like I'm just copping out.

The funny thing is, if you look at where my dad is right now, since the separation, he's definitely not first. He's up to nothing goal-oriented.

I just have to realize that in life, there are things that are more important than achievement. Achievement doesn't equal success. It's just REALLY hard for me to believe that in my heart.

The other thing that I've realized is that since I've always hung out with people who are older than I am (by at least 3-5 years) I feel like I have the pressure on me that a 25 or 27 year old would have. The thing is, I'm just 22. The things that I've achieved in my life by now are good. And even if I'm just working in a job to stay busy and bring in money until The Husband graduates, I'm somewhat in my field...I mean, I'm working within the Business field, at least.

I just need to not be so intense, critical and analytical of my life. The hard thing is, that's like telling a fish to survive and live on land.

i saw the sign [and it opened up my eyes...]

At first I was surprised. But now, I think I, along with the rest of America simply ignored the warning signs. Here's your wake up call, America.



So that's when I had this bright idea
Throw the party of the month
Nah, the party of the year

All the fine girls couldn't turn it down
Now all I gotta do is get my parents out
Should I send them to a movie
Nah, send'em to a show
Let me think, hmmmmmm
It's gotta be long though...

Aaron, we hear you. We see the signs and we're here to help.

strike up the klezmer and start acting like a man...

...you're about to have a Truth Mitzvah.


Can someone please tell me why this show has been in reruns all week??

story of my freaking life...

Cartoon by Dave Walker.

CLASSIC tunes on the work playlist earlier today...

make a sound/fake it enough.



like the devil's in your hands.



you wanna take take take it to the parking lot?



these knuckles break before they bleed.



and he wished he could be anywhere/be anywhere but here.



just slit the throat of all I know/about myself in this life/this silhouette lie..

i'm okay with that..

bored?

Which 24 Character Are You?

Created by BuddyTV

a blast from the past...

I decided to read back through some old xanga posts (back when I was on xanga) and I found some really funny pictures and thought I'd share.


I think this was Nick's birthday party maybe 3 years ago? Me, The (Future) Husband, and the BFF.


Me and The Cooke at an election party in 2004.


My cousin, Benny with a Cowlick, as Ace Ventura for Halloween a few years ago.


Me and The Husband at a show, I think at Cat's Cradle..


Me and the sisters, playing all of Carrie's cellos. Yes, violinists can play cellos. hahaha.


Me and Auntie Em, from the summer I lived with her...

and lastly...



The Husband's alterations to his Johnny D. shirt when the big trade went down.

...oh the memories.

just check the word...

I think this is hilarious. I laughed and laughed when The Husband and I were watching this the other night.

Conan, Stewart, Colbert unite in TV feud
NEW YORK - With teleprompters emptied by the writers strike, Conan O'Brien, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have been transformed into a bloodthirsty, if well-dressed mob.

The trio appeared on each other's late-night TV shows Monday in a mock feud over who "made" Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee.

The fight began weeks ago, when O'Brien claimed responsibility for any success of Huckabee's campaign after the former Arkansas governor appeared on his "Late Night" show. Colbert took offense, having frequently touted the effect of the "Colbert bump" in the polls.

Debating — as Colbert called it — the "transitive property of Huckabee," Stewart was eventually roped in, having hosted O'Brien on his MTV program "The Jon Stewart Show" in 1994.

And after too many slights (O'Brien called Colbert the "temporary host" of "The Colbert Report"), the trio congregated Monday, roaming across three shows and two networks.

Eventually, blowtorches, bricks, stunt doubles and even a little dancing were employed.

"My favorite comedy is comedy where nothing is achieved and there is no point," O'Brien said in a phone interview Tuesday. [ME TOO O'BRIEN, ME TOO...] "That this whole Huckabee fight turned into an insane Marx brothers dance was fitting somehow."

Pooling the hosts' combined talents had the intended upshot of filling time. NBC's "Late Night" and Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" are working without writers because of the strike.

"Nonsense! That was never, ever the point!" contradicted O'Brien before relenting. "Certainly it was a source of inspiration. The fight itself is three people with a box full of props playing for about an hour."

First, they got together on "The Daily Show," which airs earliest at 11 p.m. (EST), followed by "Colbert" 30 minutes later and "Late Night" at 12:35 a.m.

"You want to tangle, Red?" Colbert snarled at O'Brien.

Arranging it so they could make guest appearances and still host their own shows took some slight fiddling, O'Brien said. All the shows tape around the same time in various locations in Manhattan — though on Monday night's shows, the studios were shown as being down a single hallway.

The trio put off the tussle until Stewart finished his show, only to reunite on "Colbert." Again, the fight needed to be postponed while interviews were attended to by the TV hosts.

Later, across town at "Late Night," the feud culminated in an elaborate fight that ended only when the trio appeared to simultaneously knock each other out — the image frozen in a LeRoy Neiman-like painting.

"Conan's claims on Mike Huckabee could not go unanswered," Stewart and Colbert said in a joint statement Tuesday. "We just hope the kids out there learned that sometimes the best way to resolve a conflict is with violence."

For anyone watching, it was clear the three hosts share a certain comedic sensibility. Such playfulness would seem impossible with other late-night talk-show hosts; CBS' David Letterman and NBC's Jay Leno, for instance, have long had icy relations.

"The three of us have come along in the same comedic environment," said O'Brien. "Our shows all probably have their distinct flavor, but this happened because the three of us knew we would like doing this with each other."

While the rubble settled, Huckabee appeared by satellite to have the last word.

"Let's be clear: None of these guys made me. This great nation made me," declared Huckabee. "So vote for me. God bless America and forget these three idiots."

_____________________________________________

You can find clips of this on Comedy Central and on here.

if you remember [remember], i've been trying to get back to the center...

I stand here, looking over the waters of the Emergent movement in the Evangelical world with my toes on the edge. I pause with hesitation, because I haven't yet decided if I'm going to jump in or if I'm going remain in my perch from the banks a tad longer.

I really appreciate what the movement is about. Social justice is an issue that Christians in general need to take more seriously. Clearly, it was an integral part of Jesus' ministry, but for some reason, has been left out of the forefront of the issues that Christians are to be concerned about...it's been replaced with abortion and homosexuality. I kinda feel like we've been focusing on a section of the picture and not seeing the whole thing. It shouldn't be an either/or type deal either. There's enough attention to go around.

As this movement grows and is getting more publicity (if that's the right word) or notice, I've had more opportunity to hear people like Tony Jones, Brian McLaren, and Tony Campolo speak on issues that are core to this movement. I listened to a podcast yesterday from the Emergent Village website where Tony Jones interviewed Brian McLaren and they discussed his latest book that has been published.

While I was listening to the interview, there were a few comments that I noticed myself bristling to...comments he made that I didn't totally agree with. I have had this bad habit of not listening to people who say things I don't agree with but working on a rebuttal to their comment. I have a hard time listening to understand. But I am working on that and have made significant process over the past few years. I know that it's okay if we don't agree on everything (which goes against a lot of what I was raised to believe.) WHICH I will say is easier to say I believe than actually work toward believing.

That said...I am very encouraged by the work that is being done through this movement. One of the excellent points that Brian made in the interview was that the people who are criticizing this movement for "watering down" the Bible for the Pomo culture are not looking at how the Bible was "watered down" for the Modern culture. Which is very true. I wonder why, instead of looking at the Bible as a whole, we tend to only be concerned about Hell and saving people's eternal life? CLEARLY this IS important...which Brian said. However, there is a lot that the church as a whole has been neglecting. He said that at the root of these issues are theological problems. He quoted a man that said that the biggest problem in this world is the way we think about all the problems in the world. He said that there are people under the Evangelical banner who say that Jesus has nothing to say about poverty, war, or the environment. Jesus only talks about souls and how we can save them so they can go to Heaven after they die. They view THAT as the Gospel. But I just for a while have been conflicted between that world view and the world view that says, "Right...I understand that, but why must we let our motivator be 'saving' people? Why can we not act in Christian love and kindness? Why can we not act without asking people where they're going to go when they die?" I get the feeling that it's this Christian rat race to see who can "build" a bigger "mansion in heaven" and have more "jewels in their crown" when they die...instead of being motivated to action because of our CONCERN for those that are around us. To me, Jesus was all about bringing the Kingdom of God through that genuine kindness. I just don't understand why it has to be about two or three key issues. Jesus was about so much more than standing out in front of an abortion clinic, shouting Baby Killer and trying to outlaw abortion. Sometimes I wonder if Jesus wouldn't be the one working in the clinic so that he could be there to give the girl a hug and tell her that he still loves her when it's all over. I may be out of a few wills now that I've said that, but I guess I'll just have to rely on my jewels in my crown to take care of me. I'm not saying that we should just stand by and let things happen and then pick up the pieces...but I'm saying we need to be more focused on the HEARTS of people rather than enforcing the law. If we can change the HEARTS, then who cares what the law says? But that's only going to happen through engaging others. Engaging is messy. Messy isn't clear cut. If it isn't clear cut, how do you know who comes in first and who comes in last? If you don't know that, then how do you know who's better than who? Idk...I'm just questioning a few things (like usual) and I think that's okay.

Conceptually, this may have been really scattered...I'm just trying to blog this journey as I travel it...look back in a year and reflect.

I will say, the only thing I am concerned about is that they continue to place an emphasis on salvation, because that is important...which I will say, Brian did say he agreed with and supported. I don't want to embrace parts...I want to embrace the whole. There was one other thing, but now I can't remember what it was. Apparently it's not that important. lol...

I did buy Brian's latest book. I don't think that it will be anything that makes me go, "I've NEVER thought about that before!" I do think that I will be encouraged about the work that he is trying to accomplish. I think it will aid me in working toward more clearly defining my thoughts on all this. I'll blog as I read it...

classic...

Here's a friend's away message I saw tonight, on this Super Tuesday evening.

ACOSTA '08
Because there might as well be an asian guy too.......

hahahahaha...

my pic...

My favorite Superbowl commercial:



Probably because it reminds me of this HILARIOUSLY funny one (for some reason):

some days i hate living here..

Tomorrow is Tuesday, Feb. 5th and my local weather is:

ann without an e.

the hunt continues...

So, the Soulmate and I have been searching lately for new jobs. She is relocating and I am in purgatory, so, we've both been exploring our options. One thing we've frequently said (and not found an answer to) is how to convey how REALLY good we would be for any job on paper. For example, I was an RD at the Camel School and so was a girl by the name of...oh let's just call her Tony. Now, I know that I was a better RD than Tony any day of the week, but how do I convey that on a resume or cover letter?

I found the solution to our problem today while listening to talk radio about Super Tuesday (which I am SUPER excited about.) I realized that the United States of America doesn't put an ad in Career Builder. They don't go to a temp agency for their candidates. They don't get to supply a cover letter and resume and hope to "hear back" from America. The President of the United States has to fight for his job. They campaign. They get out and meet people. They get to tell why they're right for the job...because let's face it - who HASN'T served on the Senate? So I say, there should be more campaigning for jobs in our current job market. It's the American way! If I want to apply for a job as say, Assistant Director of Events at a university, I can go to all the other departments I'd be working with...share my experience...my background...then they will see the clear differences. Campaigning for jobs in general would also show initiative as to how much candidates want the job.

So that's my solution. Hi, my name is Kate, and I'm running for ....